Mothers
My phone blips message reads, “its mums 80th in September what are we doing? “If I am honest as I sat back, I had actually lost track of my mother’s age. Next message reads – “She was 48 when Natalie (my niece) was born”. I sank further into my chair, and mused about my mother’s achievements, in comparison to mine in my 40`s. She was married at 25. Left her parents in her homeland Nigeria, and set sail to a foreign land. In 1961 she arrived at Liverpool Docks, my father there to meet her. She set up home in Fonthill Road London- worked as a secretary, a machinist and a wife. Before giving birth to five children, she had already lost five children in her womb. So, my mother had in total carried ten children! When the cupboards looked bare she magicked cooked food; when we needed new clothes, she designed the latest fashion; when we moved home she created the interior the cushions the curtains on her Singer sewing machine, that vibrated throughout the house. Elizabeth my biological mother, whose vessel I chose, to bring me to Earth- to nurture my conception.
Thoughts travel further to summer days, homemade lemonade, puddings, deserts, birthdays, Christmas, picnics, the seaside, fireplaces and bedtime stories. A sense of security and comfort is what all children need, as a child’s biggest fear is abandonment. From six months to the age seven, my formative years, I spent with a foster mother- Elizabeth. A childless lady, who taught me how to love, until the lesson was learnt, and I was grown, and our relationship had served its time and purpose.
Fast forward twenty-two years later, fate had it that my path crossed with another mother. A woman that became my mentor, my confidant, my prayer warrior and clairvoyant. She taught and showed me what unconditional love looks like. She taught me the game of life and how to play it. She taught me about the power of the subconscious mind and the power of positive prayer. Eliza, my spiritual mother.
One school of thought says that we choose our parents before we are born; as well as the experiences and lessons we want to master. I guess I choose these three, but can’t remember. These women in any event, have played a significant part in my life and they are incidentally all called Elizabeth! Two of the three women are Virgos, and one is a Pisces. Pisces being the opposite sign to Virgo in astrology. I often try and connect the dots in the pursuit to finding my life purpose, as they say people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime! I acknowledge having worked with many children and young people in children’s homes- that the experience of the mother, is not always one to be remembered or honoured. I can’t help but notice, that if we take the M, away from the word Mother, it spells – other. Even if all the mother was thinking about, was herself, her wounds, her abuse, her inner child. There is always a time, be it a second, a minute, an hour, a season or a lifetime, that she is thinking of others. M-Others in whatever guise, are still our teachers whatever the experience. They are human, fragile, fallible and yet strong. Mother Nature shows us this. So, to all biological mothers, adoptive mothers, foster mothers, spiritual mothers, sister mothers, girlfriend mothers, aunty mothers, god mothers and surrogate mothers. I salute the mother in you!
Floindigo
Thinking of motherhood and its varying forms.